Choosing Transformative Vs. Transactional Client Relationships

 

Cultivating client relationships is a lot easier when you believe in your product or service AND if you believe you deserve a seat at the table. Jennifer Neitzel and I share some insight and strategy into what it takes to build relationships, move toward your dream, and take-on he/she that shall not be named (but I will name it anyway): cold-calling.

Some of this weeks episode highlights are:

13:32 Part of the reason I love being a mobile notary and loan signing agent is because I have been able to categorize this as NOT being in sales. But that is a complete lie. It is. And if anybody is listening to this and says, oh, I'm not in sales, that is inaccurate. Every single one of us is in sales. We are always selling something. It sometimes might be our personality. It might be our services. It might be the fact that we are the good employee and we're worth keeping on.

32:13 As you get older, we focus our businesses on building relationships. But that also includes building a relationship with yourself, having a little confidence in yourself, getting past your fear of rejection.

 

34:38 I can control my attitude. I can control the effort I put into something, and I can control the integrity with which I do that. All of those things I can control in my day. And when I control these, my inner critic is a little more silent.

 

--- Full Raw Transcription Below ---

Jen Neitzel (00:00):

That feeling that you have of anxiety in your belly before you walk in, butterflies, that we call them. If you pay attention, the next time you are really excited about something, you have that same feeling in your belly. Excitement and anxiety can create the same physical reaction in you.

Introduction (00:20):

Welcome to the SideHustle Lounge. If you're looking for flexible ways to earn income, grow your mindset, and live the lifestyle you've always dreamed of, you are in the right place. So lower the lights. Grab your favorite beverage and join your host, founder of NotaryCoach.com and Amazon bestselling author of “Sign and Thrive: How To Make Six Figures As A Mobile Notary And Loan Signing Agent,” Bill Soroka.

Bill Soroka (00:54):

Cheers and welcome to my guests today, Jen Neitzel. She's the creator of opportunities, the founder of signingagentmarketing.com and herself, a full mobile notary and loan signing agent based out of Texas. Jen, thank you so much for being here today.

Jen Neitzel (01:11):

Thank you for having me Bill. I'm excited. This is, this is wonderful. Thank you.

Bill Soroka (01:16):

I am excited to, number one, well, I promised myself I would say, stop saying number one on these podcasts. I'm going to catch myself right there. And I have been looking forward to our conversation because while I get to talk to you all the time and it's, you bring value to my life in so many different ways as a collaborator, as a friend now, and I love your, what you bring to the table when it comes to cultivating relationships. And I think you demonstrate that every day in your business and in your life. So thank you for that.

Jen Neitzel (01:51):

Oh, Thank you. [inaudible].

Bill Soroka (01:55):

Now you say something nice about me. Just totally kidding. So what we're going to be talking about today is a kind of a wide berth of topics regarding what it takes to be successful in this business and really wrapping that into how to cultivate a network and build those types of relationships. Where I thought we might start first, Jen and I think this is probably the most important part is mindset.

Jen Neitzel (02:33):

Mindset, mindset. Yes. I think that this is, that is kind of a topic that's been on my brain a lot lately working with Signing Agent Marketing and all of the members that, you know, that are part of Signing, Agent Marketing. Mindset is important. The biggest thing about it is knowing that you have to go into our sort of communities, your Notary Coach community, your Sign And Thrive community, My Sam community. You have to go in knowing that you need to participate in these, these services that are out there for you as, as a mobile notary loan signing agent. And it's kind of something that's been on my mind a lot, because I think there's this idea that if you pay Bill Soroka, the Notary Coach or Jen Neitzel, Signing Agent Marketing that they're going to do all the work for you.

Jen Neitzel (03:27):

And that's, that's not how this works. You know, like that's not how this, these products work that we're providing people. We, I know as far as Sam goes, it's a system that worked for me to increase my business. But it's not something that you can just regurgitate person to person. You know, you really have to be able to put your spin on things. So, for me, mindset, for me, mindset is taking ownership and allowing yourself your personality, your education, your professionalism. All those things, you know, shine through with these wonderful products that you and I and several others provide in the background as a base of education.

Bill Soroka (04:12):

Yeah. That's a really good point. I think I, I think it's not just this industry or it's probably all industries, there's this desire for a magic pill.

Jen Neitzel (04:23):

Yeah.

Bill Soroka (04:24):

A course that you can sign up for and then all the problems go away and you don't have to work for it. And we know that, that isn't true. So, I like where you're going there. I love what you just said too though. So, I hope if I interrupted you, you hang onto what you were going to say. But this has really been occurring to me a lot lately. You said, put your own spin on things. We can go through and we can learn from virtually anybody in any industry, the framework that helped them succeed, the hacks, the tricks, the foundation, the strategies, all of that. But the key element that we always have to remember to do is keep innovating. We have to innovate, we have to take what we learn and create our own frameworks for success. We can follow in footsteps, but we can become our own on that. And I think that's the big differentiator. And, in your field, in my field as a mobile notary loan signing agent is a differentiation factor. Our personality is what makes us different.

Jen Neitzel (05:31):

Absolutely. And, and you don't want to go out there and take the same steps that someone else has. You know, when you're trying to follow a script that someone else said, it's, it's obvious to the person you're speaking to. You, it's an opportunity to learn something, but incorporate your personality and your way of doing things into that. And also, you know, I think just being, be proud of who you are and what you've accomplished, be proud of being a business owner, be proud of spending money to further educate yourself, be proud of getting out there and doing your, you know, doing your thing on with your own spin on it.

Bill Soroka (06:13):

Let's talk about cold calling maybe not on the, on the phone so much, but if I know in your industry, it's office visits or pop-ins, they're often called, but you know, the people who are listening to this podcast, they may not be mobile notaries and loan signing agents. So, they might be calling on attorneys, they might be calling on cab companies, they might be insurance brokers that are calling on any number of businesses. What advice do you have for preparation on walking into an office cold?

Jen Neitzel (06:49):

Mindset mindset? Again, excuse me. Mindset is, is, is important with that. My my best advice that I can give anybody is to really think through what it is that you're trying to accomplish. So just for example, when we talk about Signing Agent Marketing and these principles that are outlined in the five-point marketing process through Signing Agent Marketing, this is old fashioned old school marketing. This is not, and it's not specific to mobile notaries to loan, signing agents. You can apply this to any industry, if you're trying to sell widgets or whatever it is you're trying to sell. But there's there, there's this horrible, awful feeling when you people hear the world cold call sales. What's another one? I mean, any, anything that makes them feel like they have to step outside of their comfort zone. Right? It's like, oh, I don't want to be in sales. And every single person, every single person says, but I'm an introvert.

Bill Soroka (07:55):

I've been using that for years now. You're saying, it's not real.

Jen Neitzel (07:57):

I am calling you out on that. No, it's not really might be an introvert in your own life. I am too. But you know, you, if you want to be a solopreneur, whether you're selling widgets or stamping documents as a notary, like I do, you know, you have to get out there and sell your product. And it's just understanding that your product as a mobile notary in this case is your education, your experience, your professionalism. It's not just your stamp. It's, it's all of those things that make you unique. And, and sellable air quotes to the people that you are marketing to, the title companies. The pop-ins that you referenced a few minutes ago when we first started talking about this. Those are they're they're little gifts. Just for, for those listening that don't know, they're just little tiny gifts, maybe of $2 or $3 thing that you present when you walk in. It's not for the title company. The title company doesn't need another post-it note or pen with your logo on it, or, you know, it's it's, it's something as an icebreaker for you to use, to be able to walk in and say, I have something for you.

Jen Neitzel (09:10):

It makes that whole idea of walking in a door and just instantly trying to sell something. You can sort of take that off the table and start talking about something else. So it's really more for the person cold-calling than it is the person receiving the message.

Bill Soroka (09:27):

Ah, I love that. And what worked for me because I really struggled. I still would struggle with that. I still struggle with that even in other industries or as I've expanded, but what has helped is warming up the coldness of it. So doing a little bit of research ahead of time to find out who's actually working in that office, no matter what. So I have a name at least, or maybe I know what's going on a little bit.

Jen Neitzel (09:53):

Yeah. I think that's a great idea before you go out and you do any kind of cold calling is to, I mean, we have so many resources available to us at a push of a button right now. Get on, get on your phone. Look at LinkedIn, look at look at their Facebook pages, look at anything, you know, their Google reviews. I had a, had a member of Sam yesterday. They were going out and doing their marketing for the first time. And she found a bad review on this title company that she wanted to market to. And she flipped that bad review around and incorporated the things that went wrong that were listed in that review into her message when she walked into the office. So she could, she could you know, resolve that issue for them right off the bat. So, I just thought that was brilliant. I was like, good for you. I am incorporating that. Look at those reviews. It really does tell you maybe what this office is like the folks, people are like, and it only takes a few minutes to do a little upfront research.

Bill Soroka (10:58):

Yeah, that's the, that's the cool thing. And that's what I mean by innovating. I mean, that was really creative to speak right to the pain point. And there is this a strategy that I use, but I my friend Jodie just gave me a better name for it. But it's called the two in five strategies. So, if you're on LinkedIn or on Google, you find two things in five minutes that you can speak to, or that warms, warms up a person a little bit. So, you can see what's going on and like just spend five minutes on their page, find two things that you might be able to talk about, and you're good to go. You don't have to overthink this thing. Right? You don't have to read the entire biography and then be all fake about the relationship. You can just say, hey, wow, I saw that you were, you're going to Puerto Rico next year because you're number one in sales, you know, congratulations. I brought you a little gift.

Jen Neitzel (11:48):

Yeah.

Jen Neitzel (11:49):

And, and even if you aren't able to, let's say you're out driving around, you're, you're working, you know, you're dressed professionally, you haven't had a time, a chance to do any kind of, what'd you call it two, two and five, two and five, two and five. I love that. I'm going to look into that more. If you haven't had the opportunity to do that upfront research you know, and your, and your, you see an opportunity to go in somewhere and talk to people about the product that you're selling, that's where that pop-in as a backup comes in. Because it instantly gives you a warm, a warm feeling of, I mean, who the heck walks into an office and says, I have a gift for you and the person behind the reception desk as get out. I mean, you do is usually the response I get it instantly puts a smile on someone's face, which relaxes you in, in return.

Jen Neitzel (12:44):

So, you know, there's, I think people get really wrapped up in, did I put the right thing in my pop-in, do I have, did I order the right pens? Did I get the right, this, did I get the right that? It's not about that. It's about, it's a tool for you to relax you a little bit. And I think the research, the two and five research you were talking about, without holding something in your hand, that's going to accomplish the same thing. It's going to put you at ease because you do know a little bit about the person or the office before you even walk in.

Bill Soroka (13:16):

I love what you were talking about a few minutes ago too about, you know, the introvert barrier or wall, but it's more than that, right? It's just a little bit of insecurity and people say they don't, they don't want to be in sales. In fact, that is part of the reason I love being a mobile notary and loan signing agent is because I have been able to categorize that as not being in sales. That is a complete lie. It is. And if anybody is listening to this and says, oh, I'm not in sales, that is inaccurate. Every single one of us is in sales. We are always selling something. It's sometimes might be our personality. It might be our services. It might be the fact that we're the a good employee and we're worth keeping on. It could be any number of things, but you are doing selling basics every single day. And in business, you've got to get really good at actually selling. And even if you're in a service-based industry, there's going to be selling going on there because, and people are working with who they know like and trust. So you've definitely gotta be on your, a game while selling isn't smarmy, right? It doesn't have to be gross. It's really just authentic relationships.

Jen Neitzel (14:35):

It really is. That's all that, you know, selling is about, it's creating a a worldview, I call it, of looking at people in a transformative way versus a transactional way. And I just want to touch on something you just said, you know, if you don't believe you're in sales, I don't care what industry you're in. You could actually be a used car salesman, listening to this podcast, but you know, anything that's, and then that's the stereotype people try and get away from. Right? Is I don't want to feel like a used car salesman.

Jen Neitzel (15:07):

Any industry you're in, even if you are a chemist take a look, if you don't think that you're in sales, take a look at your social media and what you're putting out into the world. You're in sales. You're, you are telling people on your social media, how wonderfully great your life is and showing off your kids and your dogs and your house and your, you know, your renovation projects, your business, whatever it is that's selling, that's, you know, our lives don't follow the social media path.

Jen Neitzel (15:38):

If they did, everybody would be skipping around with rainbows and lollipops around them all the time, right? Like if you don't think you're in sales, just look at your social media page. You're selling without even knowing it. You're selling that your life is, is great. I mean, that's not how life works. There's ups and downs, and we all know this, but we don't put that out into the world. We don't talk about that on our social media page. And I think when I fully embraced the understanding of creating a transformative relationship with somebody, instead of treating people in business, like, I just want to get a job from you. I just want to get a job. I need a job. I need to pay my bills. I need to, you know, and I started really planting roots with people and to build those relationships, everything changed every single aspect of not only my business, but my life changed

Bill Soroka (16:34):

Totally 100%, I agree with you there. So define that for me. What do you, when you say transformative relationship, what's that mean?

Jen Neitzel (16:44):

I think the simplest way that I can describe it is, is like planting roots somewhere. So, when you are, just to take it back to the thing we were just talking about, the cold calling, that horrible term, that everybody hates strikes fear in everybody. But if you go in with the again, mindset, bringing it back to the first thing we talked about that you're walking into create a transformative relationship.

Jen Neitzel (17:08):

What that means is you're planting roots in that particular office or that space where you're talking to these people. You're not going in there saying, I just want one job and then you'll never see me again. It's not like drop and run attitude. It's, you may not know it yet, but I'm here to start a relationship with you with this office, with your team to help you and make your life easier. And I think that's, when you look at people in that way it does change just your outlook on every opportunity that presents itself to you.

Bill Soroka (17:47):

Question for you. This is a, it's an advanced way of thinking. It's definitely next level. And I don't think it's taught in schools. So there's a lot of people who just by default or the way they were raised or the way society, they've mimicked society, they're on the transactional side of things. How can you, so we just treat people and things as a transaction, so we're not interested in getting more or being of more service or anything. Do you have a strategy or a suggestion for somebody who might be hearing this and thinking, I wonder if that's me? like, how do you switch from transaction to transformation?

Jen Neitzel (18:32):

Effort. Attitude, and I think just the integrity of truly believing that what you're doing is important, whatever it is, your product is you know, believing in yourself in, in your business and not feeling less than. It's so easy to let the world and all the negativity take over and, and, and easier to hide behind, you know, oh, I'm not going to be good at that. I can't do that. So I'm not even going to try. You know, it's hard to put yourself out there. It's very hard to put yourself out there. But I think if you look at your attitude and the effort that you're putting into creating relationships with people to grow your business or grow your circle of friends or grow your family relationships or whatever it is that you're, you know, trying to enhance.

Jen Neitzel (19:35):

I think if you look at it with, with the right attitude, you're, that's, that's the key right there. If you're looking at people that, as a one and done kind of mindset, like I'm in and out, I'm going to drop my card and I'm going to go, I don't care if I ever hear from them again, I'm going to, you know, meet this person, shake hands and get the heck out of here. I'm, you know, that's very transactional, that's a one-off kind of situation. In our business, and I, and I fully understand that, you know your podcast reaches people across multiple businesses, but when it comes to a being a lone signing agent, the signing services are very transactional relationships.

Jen Neitzel (20:17):

They send a blast out to whoever is registered with them saying, do you want this job? The first person to accept, not the best person, the first person to accept wins the job and completes the job. And they repeat that process over and over and over throughout the day. When you're working directly with people who you are building relationships with, you have more interaction with them. It's not just about getting this job done. It's, it's about that time in between. What do you always say from dating to marriage, you know, you can't hop from one to the other. It's sort of at that time in between that courtship and planting roots with somebody.

Bill Soroka (21:01):

Yeah. That courtship is so important. And I love that you brought up the issue with some of the platforms and this happens, I think when with innovation. Right? I'm a huge advocate of innovation of getting more efficient. And then there's this little hiccup time period that I feel like this industry's in a little bit, because the platforms have kind of created appointments that are treated like a commodity. And it's like you said, they're just going to the first person who gets them. And I've already started to see a shift, right now, where escrow officers are like, I am sick of the platforms. I'm sick of signing companies. I want efficiency, but I don't want to sacrifice service in exchange for efficiency. So I think we're kind of coming full circle again, where they appreciate the deeper relationships and the commitment to excellence.

Jen Neitzel (21:56):

Well, to be truthful about this situation that we are in now in this industry is, they're coming off of an extremely busy year. This is, you know, the 2020, despite the awfulness of 2020 in real estate and title companies, it was, and signing services, it was off the chain. So, not having time to realize and pick up the pieces of the mistakes and things that happened when you just transactionally hire someone quickly to get something done, because you need to check that box today, you need to get this off your to-do list. Right? They're, they finally have some time to sit and look and say, man, that, that was a mess. You know, I need to start investing in these relationships. So, for folks that do what, what I do as a loan signing agent, it is, now's the time to strike when you get to talk about getting out there and meeting title companies, because they're all a hundred percent flustered with the available services over the last year.

Bill Soroka (23:03):

Yeah. I totally agree. And I, I think that's the future of, because of the frustration, but also, you know, the refinance market might shift and an escrow officer's keep purchases business pretty close to the vest. Oh yeah. You want more of that purchase. You've got to get that one-on-one relationship going.

Jen Neitzel (23:21):

Well, think about this for a minute. You've refinanced your house, not use specifically, the federal you, you've refinanced your house and say you got to a two and a half, 3% interest rate refinancing your house. Are you going to refinance that house again?

Bill Soroka (23:35):

Probably never. You [inaudible] you've ever got.

Jen Neitzel (23:39):

Yeah. So, you've cut out a lot [inaudible] because of the rates being so low, which I'm not complaining about, believe me, we took advantage of it as well. But, you know, we're never going to refinance our mortgage again because, you know, we don't have to. It's, it's, you've taken off the table a lot of business that you're never going to recapture again, unless they're looking to do a [inaudible] lock or a, you know, a cash on equity, cash out or something.

Bill Soroka (24:05):

That's so true. What do you say to people who try to be one person in business and a different person in personal life, when they're a solopreneur, do you think that's possible?

Jen Neitzel (24:18):

I think if you asked my husband now, he would probably say, yes. He's definitely not as grumpy around you guys in the morning. As you, No, I think being genuine and who you are across the board, no matter what you're doing, a, it shines through if you're trying to act like someone else and this kind of touches back to what we talked at the very beginning. If you're trying to pretend that you're someone else and not following your own path that's meant for you. Yes, that shines through and it's not good business. I guess. I, I, the only thing I would say to that is just be who you are, be, who you are that's who you are, is great, no matter what, no matter who you are, you know,

Bill Soroka (25:03):

I love that you said that because, what do you think people are most afraid of when they walk into, or they, they make a cold call, whether they're on the phone or in person. It feels like they're afraid they're not going to be enough, or they're not going to say the right thing, or they're not going to do the right thing. How do you make people, people believe that just how they are is actually enough and that, that genuine insecurity or that genuine fumbling is kind of part of the value of that relationship?

Jen Neitzel (25:37):

I think rejection is the ultimate fear. I mean, at least it is for me, rejection is, oh my God, it's, it's just a terrible feeling in your stomach. It affects every part of your physical being your, your soul. You know, it touches your soul that's, and that's what I am afraid of. I can't speak to everybody, but that was my fear is flat out being rejected. And that could look like, get the hell out of my office you crazy person, or did you not see the no soliciting sign, or, you know, anything that, that throws you off track is, is a rejection feeling for me. And this is, this is something that a lot of us carry with us, even from childhood and adulthood. So, that is a, it is a fear we all carry it is easy to get lost behind that mask of, of fear of rejection.

Jen Neitzel (26:36):

But what I tell people is to remember that, that feeling, that you have of anxiety in your belly before you walk into a title company or to any cold call situation, whether it's picking up the phone, that feeling in your belly, that butterflies, that we call them if you pay attention, the next time you are really excited about something, you have that same feeling in your belly.

Jen Neitzel (27:04):

Excitement and anxiety can create the same physical reaction in you. And I literally will sit there and tell myself, like, I'm excited about doing this. I'm not nervous. I'm excited, I'm excited, I'm excited. And it sounds so dumb, but it works. And this is not my original idea. I stole this completely from Mel Robbins, who was someone, a life coach that I follow and I tried it and it works. And everybody that I've passed this info along to this little exercise, it works for them. And again, it's that mindset of, I'm not scared. I'm just, you know, it's unknown. It's the unknown. And that scares all of us.

Bill Soroka (27:45):

I'm glad you brought up Mel Robbins. I think the timing's kind of perfect, like for this, you know, she just, she just released a new book. She had five second rule, which really helped me with my miracle morning stuff. When I was laying in bed, not wanting to get out of bed at four or five in the morning, I did the 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, I choose greatness and I would get out of the bed. Yep. Her latest book is about giving the high five in the mirror. Yes. And I know that one of the practice, the ways you advocate to help people gain confidence in cold calling is to do a little bit of mirror work. Can you share with us what that looks like?

Jen Neitzel (28:24):

Well, in the very beginning, when you start it, it looks ridiculous is having a conversation with yourself in the mirror. And the first time that I started working on my, you know, my elevator speech, my Superbowl speech, whatever you want to call it, there's many different names for it, about my business. I would wait until my husband was out of the house and the kids were out of the house. Cause I felt so dumb talking to myself in the mirror, but it works. You know, it really, it shows you the the look on your face when you see nervousness on your face, you may have never seen that before.

Jen Neitzel (29:02):

How does that translate to someone? And that's, that's looking at you and, and you really get, you get a really good idea of your communication style and what you look like. And the more you do it, the more it builds confidence inside of you. And it's, it's silly and it feels silly when you first started. But it works so much what works so much, just, it teaches you so much about what you look like when you communicate to slow down. I'm a fast, fast talker. And I, I have to continually remind myself, slow down, you know, and, and you, when you see that it translates physically, it's, it's amazing. And it's so helpful.

Bill Soroka (29:48):

You know, I, I did something similar, not so much in the mirror, but I did it in the shower. You know, when I first because I am a very shy introvert. I would much rather be behind the scenes. I don't, I don't want to be in the spotlight, but when I first started, you know, I, I really kind of found a niche for myself or a niche for myself in the loan signing. I found a good system. I started doing really well and I wanted to share it because it was transformed my life. I wanted to share it.

Bill Soroka (30:21):

So, I had to get over my fear of being on camera. And I went to YouTube. I started sharing my passion, and journey on YouTube. Then I decided to start a course and all of that, the entire time, that inner critic, and I want to talk to you about your inner critic too, cause mine's a real bitch sometimes, but it really it, all I heard was who do you think you are?

Bill Soroka (30:44):

Who do you think you are creating a course, teaching other people how to do this, writing a book. So part of the way that I, the affirmation that I did to help get over that stuff, otherwise I would, I'd be a thriving practitioner of this work, but I would not have done all of those things if I couldn't get over those blocks. And I was in the shower, practicing Theodore, Roosevelt's the Man In The Arena speech. And I, I would say it out loud, boom. Like I had it engraved on a piece of wood in my shower, in practically yelling at every morning, but I'd wait until everybody else would leave. I could see my cat staring at me through the shower, like what the hell? But it's still made me uncomfortable.

Bill Soroka (31:35):

Cause I was so self-conscious, but it also had to be done and it boosted my confidence. And I came out of my shower, fired up, ready to go. Forgot to put clothes on a couple of times, like I had to get going. But that there's something to the vocalizing it. I love that you, if you use a mirror, you can see yourself and the facial expressions and how important that is. So I think that's powerful stuff.

Jen Neitzel (31:59):

I am a hand talker. I've always used my hands to express, you know, my points. And it's something that I've learned I need to curtail because when your hands are all up in your face and you're talking, you know, it's not a good luck. You don't, you don't realize, I think that as you age, as you get older, we focus our businesses on building relationships.

Jen Neitzel (32:24):

But that also includes building a relationship with yourself, having a little confidence in yourself, getting past your fear of rejection. I don't know if that ever goes away fully. I think that's something I'm always going to carry with me, but as I've aged and practiced these kinds of mirror exercises, or like Mel Robbins, high-fiving yourself in the mirror or something so simple and little, but it has definitely helped me develop a better relationship with myself.

Bill Soroka (32:55):

I think that's the most important relationship. And let's talk about your inner critic. How did you, or how do you get over those voices in your head that tell you you can't do things or you shouldn't do things or no, one's going to listen to you or whatever else you're in there. You have an inner critic?

Jen Neitzel (33:15):

Oh God. Yes. Are you kidding? That's a big yes. Yes, absolutely. We all do. I do a couple of things. I I, when I need it I talk to my husband and he knows when I need a pep talk that happens like this is, you know, I'm having a terrible day I need, I need something. I keep a folder, a private folder in my email that has emails that people have sent to me, whether they're Sam members or folks that I've met along my journey in business that are complimentary emails. And I go back and look at those. And that gives me a lot of, a lot of it gets rid of a lot of that inner critic. It silences her a little bit.

Jen Neitzel (34:12):

And sometimes, honestly, it just takes some time off and, and just some recentering and self-talking, I do a lot of self-talking people probably think I'm insane if they see me when they walk by, but it's important for me because there's three things that I can, I have control over. Three things.

Jen Neitzel (34:38):

And this is a poster that we have in our children's, we have four kids it's in every kid's bedroom, we had it printed up. This is a family motto. I can control my attitude. I can control the effort I put into something and I can control the integrity with which I do that. All, all of those things I can control in my day. And if I have control over, over those, my inner critic is a little more silent.

Jen Neitzel (35:04):

If things get off the rails, that's when she flares her ugly head and starts saying the things that you're talking about; like, who do you think you are creating this course and charging people 50 bucks a month? Well, right now, because I'm feeling in a good place, you know, I, I, it works for me. You know. So I tell, I tell myself, you did this. You've done these steps. You've vetted this process, you know, that's so a lot of, a lot of self-talk and encouragement. But I think having someone that is, recognizes when you need a little boost and having that and, and realizing what it is that you can control in your life makes all the difference just sort of quiets that, that inner critic.

Bill Soroka (35:50):

I love that. Great advice. And I'm really enjoying the the posters that you put in your kid's room. Cause what valuable lessons that are, those are, and I want to focus on number three is the integrity in what you do those things. Let's talk about keeping integrity with yourself, keeping your promises to yourself when it comes to building your dream or building your business. How do you do that everyday schedule wise? Like, do you block out time to, to that's just your time to work on your business or you're cultivating your dream? Or what do you do?

Jen Neitzel (36:29):

My calendar is my be all, end all. I will schedule what my, my morning walk and what time I'm able to do that because I don't live in a nine to five world doing this business. You know, I might be working nine to five, one day. I might be working 6:00 AM to 3:00 PM the next day. You just never know. So, weekly, when I have a better idea of my schedule on Sunday for that coming week, I calendar everything from when I'm taking my walk that day, to the business items that have to happen during the day, to what I'm making for dinner that night, or if we're ordering out that night you know, the kids' activities that we have to go to. My calendar looks ridiculous. But there's so much satisfaction for me in marking off, checking that box,like I've done this today, I've accomplished this today.

Jen Neitzel (37:22):

And it really does help me disengage in the evening time after dinner's over, everything on my list has been crossed off, and I'm able to say, you know what, now I can unplug, I can put my phone up, I can put the computer up. It's easy to get lost in two traps as a solopreneur working 24/7 or motivating yourself to work at all. Right? Both of those avenues can, both of those avenues can cause a lot of problems. So, I, I calendar things. I cross them off and then I say, okay, you know, seven o'clock, everything's done. I'm putting this away and starting again tomorrow so that I'm not constantly on my computer.

Bill Soroka (38:05):

I love that. And I do the same thing and there is a weird confidence that happens when you calendar stuff and then you adhere to your calendar. You actually end up having more time and more thinking time because you, when you adhere to your calendar, because you have, you actually do the things that you're supposed to do, and then you can, you're like, I know I have other stuff to do, but I scheduled it. I already took care of it. I'm going to take care of it on Friday. Like it's already on the calendar. Yeah. I can relax a little bit.

Jen Neitzel (38:40):

You don't feel guilty, you know, when you disengage for the night and you need that time to rejuvenate yourself. And I think it's also important to note in this calendar system that, you know, you and I obviously both use the same thing, crossing a to do list office is amazing, but you also have to have some grace with yourself and understand that while it may free up a lot of time for you, if you over-schedule yourself and, you know, things don't get accomplished, you have to learn how to have a little grace with yourself.

Bill Soroka (39:10):

I think a lot of grace in the past 18 months space and grace has been my motto and not to fill every waking moment with work. You know, if you get really efficient, if you schedule things, it's okay to take a break. I love that you schedule your walks. I really want to dive in, I want to hear more about I learned from a mentor Rock Thomas what the Sunday, it's called the Sunday Success System and that combined with Michael Hyatt's Full Focus Planner, that is really my Sunday. And I, I spend a good couple hours sometimes doing that, thinking through what the week is going to come. I'm curious what your planning session looks like on Sundays.

Jen Neitzel (39:56):

Well, it's not a couple of hours. I can tell you that Sundays, I try very hard to really have the only activity that's on my calendar is to calendar for the week. It sounds a little redundant, but I think it's very important to have a day of doing nothing, whether that means doing something you love or going out to eat, or just literally staying in your pajamas all day, which I highly advocate for, especially after last year, one, one day a week. But I, I usually around dinner time, I'll sit down, take a look at the week ahead, see where I can fit in. I have, I my list of daily to do's, but I also have a list of things that I would like to accomplish that week. And I'll take some of those and see where I can fit them in. I would say the whole thing probably takes me about an hour or so to really look and see, you know, where can I fit these, these projects in?

Jen Neitzel (40:54):

Because as, as a business owner, you have several balls in the air. You've got lots of different things you have to do from the mundane to the exciting. And you don't want to let those mundane things add up, which I have done before. And it's a, oh man, it's terrible. So like your accounting and all the paperwork and that kind of stuff just gets it's the bane of my existence, but I need to make sure every week that I have accomplished that. So I don't have to sit there for a week mining through receipts, or a month. Right?

Bill Soroka (41:28):

Exactly. That's excellent advice. I love to hear when, I think this is how dreams come true without sounding so cheesy, right? Dreams do come true, but it is hardass work to get it, to get it done. And it's doing things that most people don't. And the challenge is when most people around you, aren't doing these things, you either don't get exposed to them, so you don't even know you're supposed to be doing them, or it's real easy to start doing them for somebody to say, oh, you don't have to do that. Or why bother doing that?

Bill Soroka (42:11):

You know, and I think we ran into that a lot this last 12 months in our industry when the phone was just ringing and dinging off the hook, everybody's like, oh, you don't have to cultivate relationships. You don't have to send a thank you card. You don't have to do all that. But those foundational pieces like scheduling your dream, get the time that you are going to move forward on the stuff that matters is the difference between, I think, ultimate success and mediocrity.

Jen Neitzel (42:41):

Listen, I don't want to go back into the corporate world. I will make sure that I am doing what I need to do every week and scheduling to make sure that doesn't happen. And I'm very well aware of the fact that if I'm not motivating myself and I'm not giving myself a little grace where needed, and I'm the only one I've got here, really, you know, to, I, I don't have anybody, I don't have a boss to complain to. I don't have, you know, like, Ugh, that inner critic is being a bitch today, I'm going to go tell HR on you. I am HR, you know?

Jen Neitzel (43:18):

But ultimately, yes, I, I want to schedule my dream, like you said, and take steps to do that every single day. And you know, some days it feels like climbing a mountain. Other days it's skipping through the park. I mean, you kind of have to take it as it comes and, and just make sure you're staying on track. And you've got that, you've got that goal firmly in your line of sight, whatever.

Bill Soroka (43:44):

Yeah, that's so huge. Right. Exactly. That's the other thing, too. You can define success, however you want. I think people get frustrated with success because they are define, let other people define what success is for them. So they're, like, they get frustrated because they don't want a life where they wake up and take 12 appointments or drive 400 miles. That's okay. It's okay to have one appointment a week. If that is what your dream is, is that if that's what your goal is,

Jen Neitzel (44:14):

We live in that world though. We compare ourselves to everybody doing everything in our personal lives and our professional lives. It's real easy. I did this with you when I first found you on YouTube and listening to you driving like 400 miles and talking about those stories and I'm like, oh, shit, is that what I'm supposed to be doing? Maybe I need to rethink this. You know? It goes back to what we said before. I mean, you, like you said, you define your own version of success and that comes with age and maturity, I think, you know, as we, as we grow in our businesses and, and grow up a little right, and realize that we are fully self-dependent. And in order to maintain that we have to do the work. I can't be Bill Soroka. You can't be Jenn Neitzel, you know, but I know I want to be successful. And how that looks to me is different than the way it looks to you. And that's okay.

Bill Soroka (45:12):

Exactly. And that's a great point. And I think you kind of touched on what your, why is right? You can't go back to corporate America. I cannot go back to another call center. I consider myself unemployable now. There's no, I've tasted it. I've tasted what freedom is. And I will work 23 and a half hours a day for myself. But if I had to work 40 for someone else, that would be, that would kill me. So I'm going to do what ever it takes to make this business work.

Jen Neitzel (45:44):

I am not going back into the mortgage world. That was my career before this. And I I'm, I just, I'm not, I don't have it in me anymore. I am completely unemployable in that business. Of course, God forbid, if something had to, I, you know, you've got to do what you've got to do to support your family. But yes, I mean, I've tasted that freedom too. I create my own schedule. If I've had a particularly rough week and just personally, Bill, you know, the last couple of months, it's been, on the personal side of my life, a little bit crazy. I'm scheduling naps to rest my body because I've a bad back and I need to do that. I can do that when it's me being the boss. I have a great boss. She's awesome.

Bill Soroka (46:28):

Really cool. I love naps. Have your boss talk to my boss.

Jen Neitzel (46:36):

It's okay to, it's okay to do those things because I am, I'm accomplishing what I need to with my lists. And if I need to schedule time for myself, which I do frequently, it makes all the difference in your outlook, on life, on everything.

Bill Soroka (46:54):

I love that. And I think you touched on it again, you mentioned it earlier and we didn't really highlight it, but you schedule your time for you too. And that's, I think we, we skip that part too, is scheduling that time when you're just alone, you're scheduling your nap time, scheduling your walks. All of those things that we prioritize, other people's appointments. We should absolutely prioritize our appointments too. And I need to, that was a good reminder for me. So thank you, Jen.

Jen Neitzel (47:20):

You're welcome. I have three of the four kids that are out of the house now, and it's a little easier for me to schedule that time. And I think where my motivation comes from it, because when you spent your life, you know, 20 years being, you know, not only working, but being a mom and, and, and a wife and all these other things, it's like when that door opens and I actually have some time, oh my God, I ran toward it. I was like, yes, please let me, [inaudible].

Bill Soroka (47:49):

it sounds like you paid your dues.

Jen Neitzel (47:51):

Yeah, so I I've earned that. So it's, it makes it easier to, I guess, accept that and feel okay about it. I'm not a, not especially as women. We tend to be care for everybody else ahead of ourselves. And that is a mistake. You know, you, you are no good to anybody if you are not taken care of.

Bill Soroka (48:11):

Hmm. That's really good advice. And I love, I know it gets an it's an overused cliche, but it works perfectly is that you've got to put your own oxygen mask on first and then you can take care of others, even better.

Jen Neitzel (48:23):

That's true. That's I love that. I might use that. That's really good.

Bill Soroka (48:27):

Maybe it's not as overused as I thought. Well, Jen, this has been

Jen Neitzel (48:33):

You're on planes more than I am so,

Bill Soroka (48:36):

That's true. This has been such an awesome conversation. I've learned a lot. I know our listeners have too. Is there any closing thoughts about building, cultivating, transformative relationships, finding courage, mindset, anything that you'd like to leave our listeners with today?

Jen Neitzel (48:57):

Wow. That's a hefty question. I think that the best advice I can give to anybody that is a solopreneur is to ignore the noise, focus on your goal, what it is that you ultimately want and the steps that it takes to get there. There's nothing wrong with relying on resources. I know you're a big reader self-help books those things, wherever you get that inspiration from follow that, and just continue to push and, and follow for your dream. Because if, if you want it bad enough, you can do it. And I know Bill will say the same thing. I think anybody in this position will, if this is something Bill can do after 26 failed businesses, if this is something that I can do after a career in the corporate world, being miserable, it's something you can do too. Just keep your eye on that, on the prize, which is your own freedom and your own business, successful business.

Jen Neitzel (49:56):

I love it, Jen. Thank you so much. What a great conversation. We'll go ahead and wrap up there. If you're interested in learning more about Jen and Signing Agent Marketing, or just connecting with Jen, you can do so at www.sidehustlelounge.com/VIP and join the VIP room. It's totally free. I'll have links to Signing Agent Marketing. Jen's LinkedIn, all that good stuff. So you can connect with her there as well. Thank you so much, Jennifer. Really appreciate your time.

Jen Neitzel (50:28):

Thank you Bill!

Bill Soroka (50:28):

My pleasure. I'm sure we'll do this again soon. And for you who are listening, remember don't let the sunset without taking a step towards your dream.

Bill

 

 

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