"The Million Dollar Curve…" in Enneagram speak, is simply the idea that you can tap into another aspect of your personality, one that you likely resist the most, to take massive and positive action towards something you desire. On this episode of SHL, guest Linda Frazee and host Bill Soroka, close out the Enneagram series with intimate and detailed stories about how they've both found their Million Dollar Curve in different ways.
Linda Frazee has over 40 years of experience as a professional speaker, business consultant and executive coach. She is the author, "Full Heart Satisfied Belly," and is founder of Positive Imagery, Inc., a personal and professional development company located in Scottsdale, AZ. Her professional training is in Transpersonal Psychology and Imagery.
Learn more about the Enneagram and the Authentic Wisdom Community at www.LindaFrazee.com
11:16 I found freedom in discipline, which is the exact opposite that I ever thought would've been possible.
48:41 If you haven't done the sustaining work to develop underneath whatever you're doing, you're not going to be able to sustain it.
54:10 Everybody has the capacity within them to move to their million dollar curve to, to move toward it, to stay on it and to receive it. It may come in the form of money. It may come in the form of love.
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Linda Frazee (00:00):
It may feel like your challenges are bigger than other people's, but that may not be the case, you know, and it doesn't really matter. I mean, this isn't about comparing your challenges to others. It's about really being who you need to be to be here.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
Welcome to the Side Hustle Lounge. If you're looking for flexible ways to earn income, grow your mindset and live the lifestyle, you've always dreamed of you're in the right place. So lower the lights. Grab your favorite beverage and join your host, founder of notarycoach.com and Amazon bestselling author of Sign And Thrive, How To Make Six Figures As A Mobile Notary And Loan Signing Agent, Soroka
Bill Soroka (00:49):
Cheers and welcome back to Linda Frazee in our very final episode of Enneagram by the numbers or the pitfalls of business by the Enneagram numbers. Today, we're specifically talking about this concept in Enneagram speak called the, "the million dollar curve". So Linda welcome. I'm so glad that we're doing this. I'm learning so much and I hope our listeners are too. Thank you for taking so much time out of your life and your schedule for us. Can you tell what the million dollar curve is?
Linda Frazee (01:24):
Well, I'm going to describe it a little bit, and then we're going to talk extensively about it. The million dollar curve is when you have a part of your personality from the Enneagram standpoint. You lead with one type, we've talked about that quite a bit, and then you have a connection to other types. You have really an intimate connection with four other types. And usually you have of the four there's usually two that you you know, are more familiar with or not, whether you ever even knew it with the Enneagram, whether you knew the types, it's just, you know, it's a more developed part of your personality. But usually the part of us that we don't even know, we don't recognize it. We push against it. We avoid it. We don't want to go there. We don't like it. We see it in other people and it irritates us. That's usually the part of us that we have not yet developed. And when you develop it and, and as I, as, as we talked about it, isn't just like, when you, you, you find it it's about when you develop it, you take the action to develop it. And I think we want to talk a little bit about that today.. then you have the potential of the, what we're calling the million dollar curve, which is a part of you that comes alive to your dreams to create your reality in a new and different way, because you've embraced a part of you that hasn't really had any, any footing in your life. And, and you keep tripping over it. I know I did. And I know Bill did, and I think anybody listening can recognize that those same old patterns over and over.
Linda Frazee (03:00):
And so the only way to break them is not just to know them, but then to take some action with them. And so when you do, and one of the million dollar curve results in money, and in Bill's case, it did, but also in satisfaction. And that's his story to tell. And so it might result in the million dollars, but it's also the million dollar feeling inside when you have the capacity to embrace all of you. So whether that brings in more satisfaction, more joy, better relationships, less beating yourself up, whatever it is, it makes a big difference.
Bill Soroka (03:39):
Huge, and I'm so glad that you tied that in there. And that as you were talking, I was, I was thinking, you know, you hear that phrase all the time, right? I feel like a million bucks. Mm-Hmm,
Linda Frazee (04:17):
Well, it is what way more, because I, I work with a lot of people who are very wealthy. And I was talking to a woman the other day, and we were talking about how it got in the way for her, because people looked at her differently. So she wasn't on an even playing field and she didn't really know many people who were at her level of, of wealth. And so she found herself saving people a lot, or, you know, giving, I mean, certainly that's, that's good to be altruistic, but she had a lot of people who come to her and, and beg for money and stuff. And she felt guilty if she didn't give it. And, and now she's, her husband has died and she's had to learn how to manage all this money, cause he did all that and it's terrifying to her. So I just want to say that, because I want to reiterate this, that yes, we all think life would be better if we had more money and I think it could be easier, but don't get the idea that anything in life that once you get it, oh, then my problems are over.
Bill Soroka (05:14):
Linda Frazee (05:27):
Right, exactly. And in fact what I want to do is have you talk to them a little bit, if you will, about how this was for you, I'll talk a bit, a little bit how it was for me and then I'm going to go over all of that. And I, I do want to put a disclaimer on the very front. I teach the Enneagram a little bit different than the classic teaching. So if you are a Enneagram afficionado and you've read, you know, 32 books and you've been to many, many different workshops, some of what I say may seem different than what you've heard from other teachers. And I would like to say that I think that some of the more advanced teachers are kind of a you know, beginning to come along with my view, not because I taught it to them, but just because it's collective unconsciousness going on.
Linda Frazee (06:09):
Oh, so let me clarify that. You know, the traditional part of the the training for Enneagram believes that you have a line across the diagram that you go under stress and one that you go under security, and that that's always the case. I've never found empirical evidence to support that. So I believe you can go to across the line on, on your connection to stress or security in both lines. And so I, I will talk a little bit more as we go that people who have, are familiar. And if this is over your head and you're listening, just let that go. Don't worry about it.
Linda Frazee (06:54):
Why don't you give them a reader's digest version of like, how it was for you as a seven? And, and let me just reiterate what a seven is. A seven is someone who has lots of ideas. They're they're in their mind, they're called a head type or a mind type. And they look, I call them the tigger the tiger of the Enneagram. They bounce around, they have lots of fun and they love distractions and they want to stay away from things that are too painful, messy, you know, there's a lot of boring, are boring for heavens sakes
Bill Soroka (07:52):
Bill Soroka (08:45):
In fact, I had 26 business failures and along the way, there were relationship damage. There was credit damage. There was lots of stress, just this constant up and down all the time, the excitement of a new venture. And then it would get boring or too difficult or something I didn't understand. And something shiny would come along and I would be able to justify moving all my attention to that. You know, sometimes it was weeks, sometimes months, very rarely any longer than that. And of course, you know, since nothing got traction, there wasn't enough resources like money, time and energy to commit to anything. So all of this was like spinning my wheels forever. And this was over a period of, you know, probably 20 years, maybe a little bit longer. So then came a period of time, right before I turned 40 few years before I turned 40, you know, I had five or six of these little ventures going.
Bill Soroka (09:55):
They were maybe a little bigger. I thought I had been growing and growing relationships and getting connected differently, learning how to do a bigger deal. And it just, all of them collapsed almost all at the same time. Relationship collapsed all at the same time. So I just fell in this hole of depression. And I remember being terrified that I was going to die here. I am almost 40 years old and I was going to die with without having done anything because I didn't have the attention. I thought it was all about attention.
New Speaker (10:27):
I was, you know, toying with the idea of being ADHD or maybe I was just lazy. You know, I was being really hard on myself on why I wasn't making this stuff happen. So I kind of fell in a hole and I think honestly it could have gone two different ways for me. Luckily I think my commitment to personal development through the years helped me look for resources to help myself. So that's when I started digging, I started working with you very closely. I started finding habits and routines and discovering that that's really everything I had resisted my entire life, the habits and routines, the boring stuff Mm-Hmm
Linda Frazee (11:23):
And so would it be fair to say that, that what you were avoiding was the discipline. As, I mean, and again, for these reasons around boredom and, and you know, it wasn't fun. It wasn't exciting. It didn't have any, any energy to it. You know,
Bill Soroka (11:38):
There's nothing fun and exciting about that. There's, like having a calendar, I remember it blows my mind right now, but I was not, I was flaky. I didn't show up on time. If I had to use a calendar, I would roll my eyes. Like I was calendar resistant, schedule resistant. I wanted to be, I wanted to live the lifestyle without putting in the work. Right? Mm-hmm
Linda Frazee (12:14):
Right. So that's a very good description and I'm, I'm sure a lot of people can relate to this. And so I'm talked to Bill, probably even maybe, I don't know, five years before about Enneagram and about his needs. Maybe it was 10, it was a long time. And so that, that begs a point that I want to make that, you know, it isn't enough to just hear this probably as you're listening to this, if you're lucky this may be the 10th time or the eighth time or something, you've heard this and maybe something will click for you, not necessarily about Bill's story, but that, that how you relate to it. Because it would be nice if we just heard something once and we got it, but we don't, we have to hear it over and over. And of course, as Bill says, the student has to be ready too.
Linda Frazee (13:00):
Yeah. And sometimes that means we have to be in enough pain and sometimes we've just had it. Which I think right now could be the case as we end, we're moving toward the end of this year where there's been the COVID 19 and there's been a all sorts of things that have been. So, you know, maybe you're ready now to really look at how, what is my million dollar curve. So in, in, from the Enneagram standpoint here, Bill was really leading with his seven and had all these ideas and done all this, and any type you have or any aspect of your type that you over use becomes a weakness. So he didn't have five businesses well, he did there at the end, but he had had 26, you know, 27. So 26 of them. And the vice of the of the seven is gluttony.
Linda Frazee (13:47):
And it's not always the food it's it's like of experience and like this is a good idea, that's a good idea. And the one which is called the perfectionist or the reformer, or let's just talk about the, one less about the name, but more about the part of the, the person who can handle the details. The part of them that really looks at the details and really gets things done. You know, even when they're boring, that recognizes organization is critical. Whether it's your office or, you know your calendar or your schedule or whatever that you know, that you have to have one foot in front of the other, and you have to look a little further down the line, even if it's boring and plan a little, you know, in order to get where you're going. And so that's the one that was the particular million dollar curve for, for Bill that he is already connected to. So this is what I talk about when I say personality in the bank, you already have a connection to it, but he was resisting it. He didn't like it. He didn't want to go there.
Bill Soroka (14:53):
I think that's the one I resisted the most was that one, all that attention to detail.
Linda Frazee (14:57):
Right. And you will find that when you're resisting something like that, people show up in your life, all over the place who have that. And they're just so annoying.
Bill Soroka (15:57):
Yeah, that's a great question. It, it was a, I didn't realize how long the process was. You know, when I look back with my memory, I'm like, oh, a few days, you know, I was, when all of a sudden my life turned around. Right. But it wasn't like that. I was going through some of my old journal entries and I realized how much, and I love how you said it, you're, maybe you're not, you weren't in enough pain. And I think that's why I hadn't shifted before. You know, I always had fallbacks. I always found a way or there's something shiny to keep me distracted. But at that particular time in my life, this one that we're talking about, the pain was excruciating. Like I had hit rock bottom for myself. So I had that motivation. So when I first started, I remember I was looking towards developing habits.
Bill Soroka (16:48):
It was just not something I could do. In B.J. Fogg and his Tiny Habits helped me get through that. It was literally just picking up my shoes and putting them on the rack. That's how I started this, this whole thing. Then it was making my bed and then I would add that on. And then I found Hal Elrod's, The Miracle Morning, of course. And he set up that those six principles to do the savers every single day
Bill Soroka (17:46):
I didn't do it today. I'll do it tomorrow. And it was just this roller coaster of just keeping on track. So a lot of that was, you know, hushing that inner critic cause mine's fierce. And I love how you said. On our one episode actually you said the, the inner critic of the one has a hatchet. So that's where I think my one was living. It was with that hatch in there and it would just, it had used to destroy me. So I started using as the affirmations to get over that and to quiet the inner critic and the exterior critics, those people who were starting to judge me because I've had 26 business failures and I couldn't maintain the relationship or whatever it was. I had to talk myself into this and it months just on the Miracle Morning to get the confidence back up, to move forward and then it took even longer. And then I had to create, then I start things started to move. Then I, you know, I was in the routine. I started to like myself again and then I could add some more to it. I could add some more business stuff into it. Once I got my human spirit back a little bit, I could add some of that business component too.
Linda Frazee (18:56):
Right. And, and it was once you start doing it and again, it's the action, not just like reading the book, wouldn't be enough getting back on once you fall off the wagon, that's that's important. So you go, I said, I did it. I didn't do it and get it back on it. And it is really revealing to look back at old journals because almost everything that we're dealing with are, are patterns in our life that have been there for many, many years. So it's, it's, Bill is a good example as somebody who has broken those patterns. And just so we, we'll explain to them what that looks like, but I mean, how does it show up even now?
New Speaker (19:30):
Linda Frazee (19:32):
minuscule ways about, not staying on purpose or not, you know, getting those details
Bill Soroka (19:38):
All the time. It's it is a constant process for me. Like I it's, it's not where I naturally reside. Right? So I have to, I find different enjoyment out of it now, in fact, right before this call, you know, I had my full focus planner. I used Michael Hyatt's Full Focus Planner and mapping out my week, planning it all out, seeing what's coming. It's like, it's almost like in having those year long vision in one week. So it gets me high in some ways I feel, everything kind of clicks into, into place. And what I've learned about myself though, cause I think it's the balance between the seven and one is I've got to schedule downtime too. Cause if I overload my schedule and I take away my spontaneity, my seven freaks out mm-hmm
Linda Frazee (20:39):
Well, but see, but that's, that's a good example because first of all, you know, the high of a vacation where you just leave everything on the table and get out of town is of course one of the, the, you know, it's the catnip for sevens. <Laugh, But for, for, but then to have in your voice even was showing some rising energy when you said now I'm planning my week, you know? So it's, it's taken that part of you that could get distracted about a great vacation and say let's plan the week and let's plan some fun in it. So that, that is really important. And before we get too far, I want to make sure I say something too. So we're talking about sevens, the seven going to the one, but let's, let's just add a little bit, let's say you're a one, let's say you're you, you leave with a one and so everything is super plan for you and organized and the closet, or the clothes are in by the colors and you know, the house is clean and the car is washed and you know, and, and all sorts of things or you're the kind of one who maybe aren't that organized and, and with everything, but you, you get things done and you're highly responsible. That's for sure.
Linda Frazee (21:44):
And any, and you make a commitment, you're going to do it no matter what. Okay. So now you can begin to see how that might be for one to go to seven. Hmm. A hard thing for them to do. You want me to just go have fun? You know, because serenity is one of the key ingredients for a one and, and they're, they're connected to seven. So they have all this, this serenity and fun and spontaneity just sitting over there as often as I said, is it's like money in the bank that you didn't even know, you had an account. And so, you know, somebody's going, Hey, there's a couple million over there. You could go withdraw. They're going, oh no, no, I couldn't do that. You know,
Bill Soroka (22:39):
And I think too, there's a little bit of you know, I think sevens in general are pretty risk adverse like they're not, they have a high risk tolerance. Mm-Hmm
Linda Frazee (22:59):
Yes. I used to work with a woman who, I didn't know the Enneagram in these days, cause it was long ago, 40 years ago in an internship and she was very serious. We would be doing in these therapeutic kinds of techniques with groups of people, very serious, right on laser focused. And then as soon was over, she was dancing and laughing and playing and it was like, it was almost like she was a whole different person. And I kept thinking, who is that person? Well, looking back on it, she was one of my first early teachers of the one going to seven. Oh. You know? And she, she had a real funny sense of humor, but I mean the rest of the time, she was very, very, very on it. So wow. Before we get too off on all the other types. So what, what has been the, so you've talked now about what you've done, Bill, and how that shows up for you. How has it worked for you financially in relationship? What would be your, your, your how, how has this improved those two areas of your life?
Bill Soroka (23:53):
Well, it's it has been enormous, I think, so on all accounts and when I say accounts, I'm talking about the confidence account, the competence account, the financial account, the love account, everything. Because I find joy in just about everything that I do because I know it's not just pipe dreams anymore. Mm-Hmm
Bill Soroka (24:50):
And then when I had evidence of that, when the businesses would collapse, then it just, I, you know, I had nothing left in that confidence account. So all of this work, being able to do this, being able to trust myself, to say, here's what you're going to do in the morning and do it, has changed everything. And then everything else just followed. Mm-Hmm
Linda Frazee (25:34):
Right. I mean, it's, it's been beautiful to watch. And, and you really, so I think that my summary of what you've said here is that as you begin to take the action and really begin to see this part of yourself and, and you, if we just talk about the scheduling and the planning, and really succumbing to some of the, the great ideas, when you were willing to look at the Miracle Morning and these things that, that these books and take this in and apply them, and this all moved you to develop this, this one that was just sitting there like again.,
Bill Soroka (26:08):
Absolutely. You know the, the story I used to describe this is I was all about knowledge. Like I was huge into gathering information. I would go to seminars, I would read all the books. I would take online classes and gather all this knowledge. And I, I loved talking about it, but like the, I don't know if you remember the, in the eighties, the GI Joe commercials or the GI Joe cartoons, you know, they'd have these breakaways. And at the end it would say knowledge is half the battle mm-hmm
Linda Frazee (27:07):
Right. Boy, that's that's well said. It really is. And so what I want to do now is talk a little bit about how this has affected me briefly. And then I want to go around the circle and talk about you know, all the the other aspects of each type, that that would be their million dollar curve. And oddly enough I'm a four, and which is the, the one who is emotionally connected, highly intuitive, feels other people's feelings very easily is, is able to in you know, look into what's going on. And usually him up fairly, fairly quickly about what, how that's all playing out and all. But on a personal level, I have been overwhelmed a lot with the emotions, especially, well, I'm going to talk about just the last couple years, I've had a couple of deaths in the family, very major deaths in the family.
Linda Frazee (28:00):
And and I was also my husband's caretaker before I, for five years. Mm-Hmm
Linda Frazee (28:52):
And, you know, and I, and I realized when I went through it, all that some of that had been there for like three years, because if you don't really, I, you know, if you just put something in a pile and you don't look at it, it's usually, it's either, they're going to call you back and say, hey, you need to pay this bill or something. Right. You know, there's going to be some consequences. But the bottom line of that is, what I had done before when I recognized early in my career that I needed to have a one, I've always hired ones to be my assistant, because I knew that wasn't my strength. And I hired them, but still these, these stacks of papers had to be mined. I mean, cause I had, was the only one who could go through them. Well since my husband has passed, I've gone through all those, those piles.
Linda Frazee (29:36):
And I don't have any piles. I have one small one, that's like an ongoing thing, but I take action on it and I cannot tell you what a difference that makes in my life. It's, it's amazing. When I walk in my office, I have a whole good feeling there's a whole people say there's a whole feeling in the house that way. Although I didn't have stacks of papers in the house, but still in the rest of the house, but it just feels so different. And so it was actually having the time to, to look at that and to bring it in. Now, in retrospect, could I have done it a little differently? Well, yes, I I've got some new things I've put in place for myself and one of them is I get the mail, I look through it and then I shred what I don't want immediately.
Linda Frazee (30:17):
And I either act on what their, or it goes into this small little and then once a week I go through that and I get, I, I do whatever is needed. Now for many of you that were already doing that, maybe that's no, no big intervention. But for me that is a big intervention because I don't want to have to go through this again. And, and I no longer overwhelmed with caretaking. So I now have the space to do it. Some of you that are doing side hustle kinds of thing may have two or three of them going. And so you might find that you are, you're overwhelmed with getting, keeping them all straight. So if you don't have a system already, that is very clear about, well, there's this one and then there's this one and this is where I find things you'd want to do that.
Linda Frazee (30:59):
That might be, you might have a connect to a one, or you might not, it might be another type, but I just want to put that out as a suggestion. Yeah. So, so that's just a little bit of, of how this has worked for me, but now I want to talk a little bit about the other types because not everybody's lying across the center of the Enneagram is going to go to one. So let's talk about the three for a minute. Now the three is called the performer and their, their lines, and so they're doing, doing, doing, and they're, they're very busy and they're succeeding and they like, they want approval and they get approval. And they're very, very good at that. And they're usually very often have high profile jobs, whatever they do, they do it well, everything looks good. They look good, but it's exhausting.
Linda Frazee (31:46):
Because they can overdo very easily. They can say yes to everything. Sure. I can do that and I can do this. I want to a committee. Of course I'll raise my hand and I'll do that too. And sometimes they even get sick seriously sick because they have just run their immune system down because they've been doing too much. Now three high is a nice line straight line to nine and the nine is the one who can lay back and relax and just kind of let the world go by. They can live on the couch and watch TV or, you know just go with the flow and they really have a capacity for really being in harmony. So when you can see where the three who learns to go to that, the three who learns to say, oh, you know, I need some harmony.
Linda Frazee (32:33):
I need to relax. No, I can't do that. Gee. Yeah, sure. I said, I'd work on Saturday, but I don't want to work on Saturday because you know, I want to, you know, do something that's harmonious for me. I want to play golf. I want to be with my kids, whatever it is, you know, that's, that can be a million dollar curve for the three. Now also the three can go to six, which is interesting because the three where the three goes to six, the six is the one, that's always looking at worst case scenario. So you may say, well, how would that benefit a three? Well, a three can be so positive and so out there and doing so much that they can kind of fall off the cliff because they haven't really looked at what could happen if I don't pay attention to some of the pitfalls.
Linda Frazee (33:15):
Also the, the six, which is an interesting opposite is one of the most courageous people you'll ever find. They will take a risk for courage. It's usually for other people, they have to learn to take it for themselves. But so when a three goes to six, they can be courageous. And for them that often is being real, being often more authentic and, and more who they are. And not just the image of who they are.
Bill Soroka (33:44):
Oh, that's powerful.
Linda Frazee (33:45):
So there's, there's opportunities there for them to go either way. Did you have a question about that, Bill?
Bill Soroka (33:51):
I'm just curious. Like, so both of these for, in, in particular for the three and this will all apply to all the other numbers, but so your million dollar curve of could either be to the nine or to the six. Is that right?
Linda Frazee (34:02):
Which whichever way is the most block for you. Oh, okay. So, you know, and, and that will vary with everybody. So, you know, a three could look very courageous because they're out there doing this thing, but the thing they really want to do, they're too afraid to ask. Maybe they need to get out of a bad relationship or they need to get in a, whatever it would take personal courage to do they may be blocked on.
Bill Soroka (34:26):
Linda Frazee (34:27):
So now let's go, let's take a look at another one. Let's look at the eight, just for instance, the eight is the big energy kind of person who tells people just pretty much where they are. They have an issue with anger. They have a tendency to overuse it, it, and and they often rise to the top. There's probably fewer eights out there in the world than any other type, even though they show up a lot because they, they usually, you know, they're the boss or they own the company or whatever very often, or if they're not, they're not happy
Linda Frazee (35:04):
But in the middle of all this, the two has, has aligned to five. Now the five is the observer, the one who go, who can just go be by themselves. The eight is action, action, action. I gotta go out there and take action and what's wrong with these people and why aren't they doing it right? And you know, you know, what's wrong with them and let, let me lead you, let me show you the way. The five is the person who can retreat by themselves. So I often call them the turtle where they, they pull their heads back into their shell, the way that that a turtle does and be quiet and still, and the eight, I, I mentioned the eight at this point because they're very much like the three they, they can overdo.
Linda Frazee (35:44):
And so for their ability to be able to pull back in and self reflect and sit back and look at what's going on, instead of act on what's going on is a million dollar curve for the them can be. Because they, they, then, if they're say leading an organization, they could be some of the most powerful leaders ever, ever, because they also have aligned a two, which is the helper, which is their heart is. I had a a eight business owner in Atlanta many years ago, who I learned a lot from, but just by working with him. And he was kind of, the people that he, that he that he worked for him were kind of afraid of him because he would have these explosions and all of this. But in the middle of this, they had a hurricane and you know, people couldn't even get to the office and he had an SUV and he spent like a week just going out with a chainsaw chainsaw, you know, pulling down trees, cutting things up, clearing roads, you know, as many people did, but it was like, his heart was just his heart just burst open. And he was out there taking care of people.
Bill Soroka (36:54):
Linda Frazee (36:54):
And it made a big difference and he, he didn't go out and tell a lot of people about it, but it was the story came out and I think he might have even been in the paper. I'm not sure. Or now it would be on internet. But anyway, but it began to create a huge amount of respect and trust, which he had not intended to do at all, which made his business flourish.
Bill Soroka (37:19):
Linda Frazee (37:20):
You know? So that was like a million dollar curve for him. So there again, like said, Bill, you could go either way, it could go to five and that could be to set step back. But it's where you're the most blocked. So let's take another one here. Let's take the five. The five is an interesting one to get blocked. Because the five is the one I was just talking about, who is the observer who tends to be introverted, but not always who is very into information and gathering information, but in a business situation won't raise their hand.
Linda Frazee (37:52):
If I say, okay, everybody, let me raise your hand and tell me what's going on here. Five will never raise their hand, you know, but if I ask directly, let tell me, Tom, what do you, think's going on here? The whole room gets quiet because Tom always has really good things to say, because Tom is observing and he's picking things up. He's not busy talking. He's not trying to sell it an agenda. He's listening. So he may be the most valuable person on the team who knows really what's going on.
Linda Frazee (38:40):
Maybe not. They may go out at night and have a fine time, you know, and dance and, and do whatever they do. They might go out and go skiing on the weekend. And maybe they're an extreme sports person or whatever. And you would go, who really? I can't believe that that quiet guy, so it might not be blocked, but this is a big one for fives. Very often fives are blocked at eight because the eight is a one who has ready access to their anger. And if you're a quiet person who is, seems to be always thinking carefully about making the next decision and what's logical and what's right and so forth suddenly, you know, it's to go into, no, that is not okay. I won't do that. You can't make me as like, whoa, who is that person? So very often the five is the most blocked in eight.
Linda Frazee (39:24):
Then we have a situation that's similar to what Bill was describing earlier. The five has a lot of ideas but not a big risk taker and needs that of the eight for their million dollar curve, needs to take action. The eight takes too much action. The five needs to, to be able to go to that bank account of personality and start withdrawing some of that and say I'm taking some action,
Bill Soroka (39:50):
Linda Frazee (39:53):
Or the five needs to go to that seven, if that's the most blocked and, and take advantage of some of those ideas and show up.
Bill Soroka (40:02):
Linda Frazee (40:03):
Bill Soroka (40:04):
I love that. And I can relate to that too, because being a seven, I connected to that five as well. Right. And that helps keep me.
Linda Frazee (40:10):
Exactly. And then let me talk here. How are we doing? We're doing pretty good here about the two. So the two is the helper, the one who forgets themselves and, and is always looking at everybody else. And you know, will completely forget their themselves in, in the service of others in wanting their approval. And often don't get it because they're, after all they're taking advantage of, because they're so busy doing things for other people that it's just like who they are, you know.
Linda Frazee (40:58):
And it's always a surprise. It's a surprise when a five or a two goes eight because the five is this retracted kind of person mostly. And the two is just like, oh, what can I do for you? And suddenly, you know, they're really angry and you're going, yeah. out of no way. Right. Yeah. Right. What was that about? You know, that is, you're not yourself, you know. Anytime you get somebody saying, you're not yourself, you're not being yourself. It's their idea. And your idea of your persona, that they're, they they're seeing. And they don't know who you are, and it may feel very foreign to you, but that would be a clue that that's probably where you're blocked. So what the two can pick up this eight energy and, you know, and say, this is what I need.
Linda Frazee (41:38):
This is not okay. Now just a side note about this very often a two will be very forceful at work, especially if they have a high position and not so much at home.
Bill Soroka (41:51):
Linda Frazee (41:51):
And so in maybe that the, the block is more and the million dollar curve for them is more in a relationship at home. Okay. Could be now two can go to four. The two goes to four. Now the two goes into could get depressed, get really sad and into their feelings, which actually is a good thing for them. Because then when you go go there, you could really think like, well, you know, what do I want? You know, I'm not getting what I want, which again is good. Right? So there could, there could be a million dollar curve there often in a relationship for a two, the only way they will leave a bad relationship will be if they have children and the children are being hurt or, or their pets.
Linda Frazee (42:35):
Oh, because then, then they can see other people doing what they need to. But, you know, hopefully if you've done that once or twice, then you can, you can see it that coming the next time. And that would be a way of staying away from it again, which would be your million dollar curve. Mm-Hmm,
Bill Soroka (43:00):
Yeah, no, not so far. This is great.
Linda Frazee (43:02):
For those of you who have, haven't seen the diagram this might seem confusing because I'm talking about numbers and lines and diagrams but you can look up on you can look at my website
Linda Frazee (43:24):
So you will see that. So let's, let's talk about the nine. We talked about the three going to nine, but the nine that is the one who is into harmony is also often called the peacemaker great worker, hard to the nine has difficulty acting on their own agenda, their own personal agenda, their, and will go along to get along with anybody sounds a lot like the two but it's different. It's about avoiding at all costs. So the nine has aligned to three, which is performing. And the nine has aligned to six, which is the the six, the, the devil's advocate, the one who is, is always seeing the worst case scenario. So how could this possibly be a million dollar curve? Well, the first thing is the nine can have some great ideas. They're very creative, very artistic often, but if they don't act on them and they don't perform, it's a blocked, it's a blocked sign.
Linda Frazee (44:27):
They, they don't do it. My husband who recently died was a nine. He had a, a idea for an invention nearly 40 years ago that was absolutely brilliant. And he couldn't act on it in a time. And then technology took over and went past his idea. Wow. You know, because he, he, he just, he had a hard time. He was, he was, he needed to be an entrepreneur in this case and he, he really wasn't. He was an engineer, Yeah. aerospace engineer. So, so he was blocked in the ability to perform on his own invention, his own brilliant invention. So that would be, that could have been a million dollar curve for him, you know, had he done it now.
Bill Soroka (45:09):
So moving to the three would spark them to take action then, right?
Linda Frazee (45:12):
Yes. And be willing to perform. And, and and there's kind of a double, double problem there because the three is also afraid of failure. And the nine is, is you know, not wanting to fail either because it could be conflict, inner conflict or outer conflict. And so that's hard. Now the nine could go to six and the six would be the one that would say, okay, well, let's talk about this invention. And let's see, what's good and bad. And let's, let's get some timelines and let's, you know, what's the worst that could happen. And well, if we're going to do what we better get started, you know, and that would've been very helpful.
Linda Frazee (46:01):
That w,as an asset of the six, but in this invention, he was kind of blocked with that. So it, it got installed. So this six goes also nine and three. Again, if you look at the diagram, you'll see that's a central triangle of the whole diagram. So the sixth, this worst case scenario, but this very loyal protector of people, this one that's filled with courage and is also a very responsible character is always able to look ahead and see those pitfalls, which can be very advantageous in starting a new business or being an entrepreneur. So they can go to nine and they can go to nine and relax a little get into some peace, which is very, very helpful. Or they can go to three and perform because the six can be at the worst, they can be immobilized by fear and doubt.
Linda Frazee (46:58):
Okay. So like, what should I do? There's a lot of doubting it's like, should I could do this? Or I could do that. Should I do this? Or should I do that? I don't know. Well, you know, there's advantages here, but what if that happens over there? And so can get just kind of immobilized. So, whether they have a tendency to avoid the relaxation, which would be part of the million dollar curve, or if they're avoiding you know, stepping out there and performing and taking the next step would be part of what they would be doing.
Bill Soroka (47:27):
Well, you know, I love, we have, a mutual example of this, a mutual friend who leads with six, who is kicking butt in the three right now, really getting out there and doing some huge things.
Linda Frazee (47:41):
Great. Well, that's wonderful. So that's, that's the sign of then development. And usually again, for both the nine and the six, there's an old illustration that I think is really true. It's like a bow and arrow. So if you had a bow and you were going to shoot the arrow, you spent a lot of time pulling the string back, pulling the string back, pulling the string back, and you're people around going, oh my gosh, are you ever going to let go of this? You know, how long is this going to last?
Linda Frazee (48:07):
But boy, then when you let it go, boom, there's energy. Yeah. And that's, that's actually a good example for all of us about that place that we are avoiding. You have to take aim, but you have to let go, you have to let go, and you have to, and you do have to pull the bow back. So a lot of people just say, well, that's where I want to be. I want to be there. And that's what you said earlier, but I don't want to do the work to get there. Right. I just, I just want to get there. Or, you know, I, I did two or three. I did a workshop. Okay. Isn't that enough? You know, and you know, it's not, and not only that, if, if you haven't done the sustaining work to develop underneath whatever you're doing, you're not going to be able to sustain it.
Bill Soroka (48:48):
Yeah. Isn't that the truth. Yeah. You see examples for that everywhere.
Linda Frazee (48:52):
Yeah. It's very much like the people who win the lottery and if they haven't had any any prosperity training underneath it, or they don't have a good consciousness about it, you, they go back a year later and they they're back where they were.
Bill Soroka (49:05):
You know, Robin Sharma had a quote in his 5:00 AM Club book that just blew my mind. And it said everyone wants to be a legend until it comes to the work that legends do. Mm-Hmm
Linda Frazee (49:58):
Right. That you're absolutely right. And it's about where we're blocked. It's the obstacles and the obstacles are inside us. We think the obstacles are outside of us. We don't have enough money to do that. I don't have enough education and I can't go to the class. I don't have a car. I don't have this. I mean, and I'm not saying those aren't real, real obstacles, but the bigger obstacles are inside us. And that's why when we see these, these situations that you'll see on, on the news every now and then on the positive side, or you read the things of people who have overcome tremendous odds, it's so inspiring because, you know, I, I remember seeing something where this kid walked, or I, I don't remember if it was a, I don't remember now if it was a man or a woman or a kid, but anyway, this person walked like 11 miles every day, one way to go to work.
Linda Frazee (50:46):
Cause they didn't have a car and they were never late. And they were there and it was like, maybe they worked. It was maybe it was a McDonald's or, or Burger King or something, but they showed up and they were reliable for years. And so at the end of the year, they got this, the customers and he loved the customers. It was a guy now I'm remembering now. So they took you know, they, they gathered some money from the customers and everybody gave him and they bought him a car. Wow. And he was overjoyed. Unbelievable. Yeah. But, but he wasn't asking anybody to do that. Mm-Hmm
Bill Soroka (51:40):
Or, find a way. Yeah. Unstopable.
Linda Frazee (51:42):
And I guess that would be my in invitation to everybody who's listening is use this material as best you can. You know, be honest with yourself about how, where you're blocked. And, and if you have a dream know that wherever you're blocked, that's getting in the way. And, and you have to start, you have to start small, you know, remember Bill's illustration about how he started putting his shoes up on the shelf, on the shoe rack. I mean, that's, that was a, that was a small step, but he just didn't do it once and go, okay, I did it. Okay. Now where where's the rewards?
Bill Soroka (52:27):
Huge difference. And just being, having the the wherewithal to introspect mm-hmm
Linda Frazee (53:27):
It that's really true. That really is true. And you know everybody on the planet has has difficult areas. So it isn't like people are born and, and they have no challenges and everything is works right all the time. And it may feel like your challenges are bigger than other people's, but that may not be the case, you know? And it doesn't really matter. I mean, this isn't about comparative, comparing your challenges to others. It's about really being who you need to be to be here. Yeah, exactly. That's really what it's about. Mm-Hmm
Bill Soroka (54:00):
Linda Frazee (54:08):
No, I guess I would say that everybody has the capacity within them to move to their million dollar curve to, to move toward it, to stay on it and to receive it. It may come in the form of money. It may come in the form of love. Like I think you, you made a, a good comment of about, you know, all the different areas of your life. The biggest one is really respecting and loving yourself. And so if it's, you know, and, and when you do that, usually money follows, but it's not about the money. It's not, we we're calling it the million dollar curve because it gets people's attention, but it's not about like do this and you will get million dollars.
Bill Soroka (54:47):
Right, right. It's about feeling like a million bucks and just, I love that loving and respecting yourself. And then that does it attracts money. It attracts ideas. I think you look at the world differently. Mm-Hmm,
Linda Frazee (55:05):
Right. And, and just you know, how many people are really happy with themselves. And I don't mean that there isn't something that you could improve, but are really satisfied, satisfied, not satisfied that you're not going to do anything, but living in a, in a state of accept self acceptance, most of the time. That's the, that makes a big difference. I think there'd be a lot less violence, a lot less you know, you know, people running over boundaries causing harm, you know, if, and that's a, that's a, so it's one starts at one at a time.
Bill Soroka (55:41):
Yeah, absolutely. So it starts with us. Thank you so much for the gift of introspection and learning on that. This has been an, an incredibly fascinating series just even for me. And I hope for our listeners too. I'm sure. You'll hear a lot from us. Guys if you're listening and you're like, all right, I'm curious about this Enneagram thing. Linda has tons of resources for you on her website at lindafrazee.com. I have links inside the Side Hustle Lounge, so you can go there too, sidehustlelounge.com/vip room. That's free to join. And I have links to Linda's Authentic Wisdom Community where she's doing lots of events. Plus she has tons of resources inside there as well. Linda, this has been amazing. Thank you for your time over the past several months as we recorded these podcasts.
Linda Frazee (56:35):
It's been a pleasure Bill. Thank you. And I hope everybody gets something for themselves by listing.
Bill Soroka (56:40):
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Bill Soroka (56:49):
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Speaker 4 (58:17):
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